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Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
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| Time: | 4:47 pm. |
| Mood: |  sick. |
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I'm still sick as a dog.
Not going out, not calling people.
I'll be better soon.
And I might peek back into reality again.
Until then, good show my friends.
I still love you.
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Pick up a Crayon: Color Sexy.
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Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
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So at yahoo.com I see the headline "Deep South state fattest in the Nation.. find out which it is". And of course I panic, Louisiana doesn't need any more bad publicity. Britney Spears is quite enough..
Either way, I click on this link and all I can think is, "Let it be Mississippi. Please let it be Mississippi. Let it be Mississippi." And it turns out that it was Mississippi. Thank you, God. I'm sure Louisiana was ranked 48th or something but they didn't show that so it's all good.
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Pick up a Crayon: Color Sexy.
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Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
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I need to hang up my curtains.
The wall areas surrounding windows are generally reinforced with lots of really hard studs. Seriously. Really long and hard wooden planks.
I doubt I'd get very far with just a screwdriver and determination. Though hilrious to watch, I'd rather not embark upon such a catastrophe. I need one of those electric ones. The ones that do the hard work for you. Just plug it in and watch it spin. It even makes a nice, rank whirring noise for those of you who hate your pets. Be sure to wait until they are curiously watching you before starting it up.
Alas all I have is a screwdriver.
I'll give details to post-curtain failure as soon as it happens.
Speaking of loss.. I have to redownload all of my songs to the new hard drive. I realize I'll never quite remember all of the ones I had. Though I do have a great start. If you care to help, write out your TOP 3 or 5 songs of all time so I can see if they are already on my list.
Spanks.
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Pick up a Crayon: 1 Sol - Color Sexy.
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Thursday, August 16th, 2007
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| Time: | 10:41 am. |
| Mood: |  working. | | Music: | Modest Mouse. |
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Just a side note: I never have my nightmares when I am sleeping alone.
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Pick up a Crayon: 5 Sols - Color Sexy.
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Yes, recently I joined the ranks of FaceBook.
If any of you kids have one, let me know so I can add you.
Please reply with your first and last name.
This post is only visible to my friends.
Either way, you can email me your first and last name if you don't want to post it. :)
dinkdown@gmail.com
Thank you kindly.
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Pick up a Crayon: Color Sexy.
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Thursday, July 12th, 2007
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THESE WERE ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.
Definitely worth the time.
I <3 music.
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"I Want You to Want Me"
Hmm.. no I'm ok, thx.
WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE?
"Emerge" - Fischerspooner
No that's a good answer!
WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU?
"Black Hole Sun" - Soundgarden
Ouch, that's not good.
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Heart Brings You Back" - Blues Traveler
I can go along with that. :)
WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?
"The Way" - Fastball
I AM THE WAY! YESSSSSSS.
WHAT DO YOUR EXES THINK OF YOU?
"Helena" - My Chemical Romance
They don't even remember my name ..
HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
"Voodoo Child" - Jimi Hendrix
Does that mean I'm kinky?
Or hexed?
HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE?
"Say It Ain't So" - Weezer
Wow. Just wow.
WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
"Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing" - Chris Isaak
WTF?!? My future doesn't sound too promising..
WILL YOU HAVE KIDS?
"You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Party" - Beastie Boys
YAY! No kids! Party party party!!!
ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL?
"Graduate" - Third Eye Blind
Well that's true. I did graduate.
WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE?
"The World is Not Enough" - Garbage
Yay! That sounds good!
WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
"Need You Like a Drug" - Zeromancer
Uhh ok.
Someone needs me like narcotics.
yay!
WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Go With the Flow" - Queens of the Stone Age
Yeah that's a good one.
I appreciate people just going with the flow.
After I die, get over it.
Get on with life.
Sure.
THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE:
"Shutdown" - Pitchshifter
Well that's kinda cool.. check out the chorus:
"Kick all the dust that you want you know you're never gonna
Shut us down - we'll just get back up again."
YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE:
"May It be" - Enya (LotR)
I like that.
HAPPY TIMES:
"Livin la vida Loca" - Ricky Martin
LMAO good effing game.
SAD TIMES:
"Somewhere out There" - Our Lady Peace
This survery thing is scary.
EVERY DAY:
"She Talks to Angels" - The Black Crowes
Awwww!
FOR TOMORROW:
"Santeria" - Sublime
That'll work.
FOR YOU:
"Beating Hearts Baby" - Head Automatica
Yay! Memories!
WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME?
"Date Rape" - Sublime
No rufies for me!!
WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD?
"Underworld" - DJ Trashy
That scene left me a long time ago.
WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING?
"Bad to the Bone" - ZZ Top
Not exactly romantic, but it'll work.
WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
"Wandering Star" - Portishead
So true! So true.
YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
"Heresy" - NIN
Hmm..
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Pick up a Crayon: Color Sexy.
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Saturday, February 3rd, 2007
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My phone isn't sending or receiving text messages at the moment. Hasn't worked for a few days now. Sorry if I haven't gotten any messages. Not my fault though :(
Hopefully it'll fix.
Die Cingular Die.
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Pick up a Crayon: 2 Sols - Color Sexy.
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Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
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| Time: | 9:51 pm. |
| Mood: |  odd. | | Music: | "Break My Fall" - Breaking Benjamin. |
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I want laser hair removal. That would make my life so much easier.
I want different hair. Tired of it already. Well, it's been a while anyway.
Time for a change.
Anyway, I want to lose weight.
And I'm gonna do it damnit!
That's all for now.
Love you all.
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Pick up a Crayon: 1 Sol - Color Sexy.
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Saturday, January 6th, 2007
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Saturday, December 30th, 2006
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I'm glad this year is ending.
Not that starting a new year EVER makes things better..... I can always dream.
I'm tired of high-strung, bitchy customers.
I'm tired of wearing the same thing to work every day.
I'm REALLY tired of people nagging me about not liking certain foods.
Yes. I hate onions, bell peppers, celery, water chestnuts, almonds, raisins, cucumbers, cauliflower, tomatoes, grapefruit, brussel sprouts, cabbage, mayo, cantaloupe, honey dew, horseraddish, eggplant, zucchini, sour cream, beets, squash, black eyed peas, lima beans, okra, olives, leeks, shallots, radish, turnips, yams, collard greens.. etc.
AND IT DOESN'T MAKE ME A BAD PERSON.
Let it be.
Now that it's settled, I can move on.
I'm tired of pissed off people! Is no one calm anymore?
Why do people say things like, "The last 3 times I bought something from here it was all gross and stale.." ?!? If you don't like what we have, DON'T COME BACK DUMBASS. If there is a 4th time, blame yourself, not me.
No matter what I say, people automatically take it the wrong way. They can turn ANYTHING around to make you feel bad. Just for one example, a customer walks in the bakery and I say, "HI, what can I get for ya?" in this nice cheery voice. And they say:
"I JUST GOT HERE.... I NEED TIME TO LOOK..(not in such a nice tone)" and roll their eyes.
Orrr I can give them some time to look *first and not bombard them at the door and they say
"Are you going to take my order or just stand there?"
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.. I DO NOT READ MINDS. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT OR IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING ORDERED OR IF YOU NEED MORE TIME. GET OFF YOUR HORSE AND PUT YOURSELF IN SOMEONE ELSE'S PLACE FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE.
That's just one minor example.
Everyone seems to only be worried about themselves.
I have lost faith in everyone that I don't know personally.
Because I do have wonderful friends.
Very very very wonderful friends.
Life is good and I'm fine.
But at some points, I ask myself if I'm just being understanding or if I'm just shoving it all inside. I don't want to just ignore things but there's not much I can do at this time to make things change as much as I want them to change.
(Just get a new job, Brynn.
Just grow the hell up, Brynn.
Obviously if you don't like onions, something horrible happened to you in your childhood.)
I do my part and it's all I can do. I have my reasons for my decisions. That is the only thought that makes it easier to sleep at night. I am who I am. I make all variables a part of my decisions. Nothing is black and white. No question or situation ever has the same answer or outcome. Nothing is certain. I AM OK WITH THE UNKNOWN. I don't have to know what happens.
Also, I don't have to speed everywhere I go.
If I'm behind someone who's going 15 mph under the speed limit, yeah it sucks. But just MAYBE they are almost out of gas and are trying to make it somewhere first. I'VE BEEN THERE, I CAN UNDERSTAND, I'm sure lots of people were inconvenienced by my driving. You NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER know what other people could be experiencing. If they cut you off going 90 miles per hour, it's gonna be okay. Maybe their house is on fire. Most likely it's not, but you don't know that. You never know.
THERE IS NO REDEMPTION FOR BEING MAD AT THEM.
THERE IS NO VALIDATION FOR HONKING YOUR HORN AND FLIPPING THEM OFF.
Some people are bad drivers.
Some people have very valid reasons for how they are driving.
You cannot take a guess at which is happening.
It is not your fault.
Getting angry at the situation only hurts yourself.
Life is better when you take a deep breath and move on.
And on to other things..
I know he loves me.
But sometimes it feels like he wishes I was shorter or smaller. I might be slightly insecure but all girls are. This, I feel, is not spawning from inside of me. I do trust myself on this one. Sometimes I feel irrelevent. Whenever we run into girls he knows, he hardly ever introduces me. I'd be lucky if I got a "this is brynn" much less introducing me as his GIRLFRIEND. I am really really understanding and trusting. It's just that certain consistencies get increasingly harder to justify.
I want him to know how I feel, but it comes and it goes. Sometimes I'm slightly hurt, sometimes I can rise above it. I don't want to complain or seem clingy. I don't require all of his time and thoughts.
But, I was actually embarassed Thursday night.
It doesn't happen often.
When other people start asking questions, it's time to take a step back and see their point of view. I had friends of mine from work with us. I had to lie once or twice to divert attention from the situation. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasn't. They know I am head over heels for this one. It'd be nice if it looked the same way from him. I refuse to look like the dumb high school girl with the dumb high school unrequited crush. I am not that girl.
He's gone for two weeks at a time but thoughts of mistrust never come to my mind.
I know he loves me.
I know he loves me.
I know he loves me.
When did that become not enough?
Why am I pressured to be happy? Why do people feel burdened when I am sad? Why is it not okay to be sad? I don't want constant reassurance. I don't want to put anyone in a bad place. Yes I know it's going to get better, I don't want to hear that bullshit. I'm not anywhere close to perfect. And that's fine with me.
I'm a very happy person and I live a wonderful life.
I am truly blessed and I thank God for that.
I'm asking too much of people to be considerate.
Obviously it takes too much time out of their busy schedule.
For all you Baum's customers this year who FLIPPED OUT and THREW A FIT in the store over a C A K E .. all I can hope is that you look back on it and realize what a complete ASSHOLE you are.
Thank you that is all.
It's always a bumpy ride.
I just hold on tight and do what I do.
I can't save the world yet.
But one day I will.
2007 here I come.
May it be better than the last.
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Pick up a Crayon: 6 Sols - Color Sexy.
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Thursday, December 21st, 2006
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Monday, December 18th, 2006
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Yes.
Still sick.
And I can't find my good chapstick. 99% of chapsticks are completely useless. They make the situation worse instead of better! GAAHHHHHHH.
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Pick up a Crayon: 5 Sols - Color Sexy.
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Saturday, December 16th, 2006
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Friday, December 15th, 2006
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| Time: | 9:59 am. |
| Mood: | Still sick.. |
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So I had to leave work early yesterday. Left there at noon. Then stayed in bed from 1pm yesterday until 7:30 am today. And I tried to go go work again, only to come home again. My voice is almost completely gone. All sounds are louder and all lights are brighter. I still haven't eaten since Wednesday. And my back is killing me.
Someone help!
I mean.. I'm ok. But damn this sucks.
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Pick up a Crayon: Color Sexy.
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Thursday, December 14th, 2006
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| Time: | 7:38 am. |
| Mood: | sick. | | Music: | Alan's annoying alarm clock.. |
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I've been really stressed out lately. Work is driving me NUTS. Bills are stacking up yet again. I was starting to feel better about everything yesterday. The first half of the day went well. But at work halfway through the day, things went right back to how they were. I ended up having a 13 hour work day and driving home not being able to feel my feet.. legs.. theighs..
So I got home, had some tea and some steamed vegetables and lay down to watch a movie. I couldn't do much after that. I didn't want to move because everything hurt. I turned off the tv and lay there until I fell asleep. Now.. the morning after.. I have a fever, headache, bad cough, an extremely sore throat, and bad circulation. Bad circulation you say? Yes. My arms were falling asleep while I was trying to put my hair up in a more decent pony tail. That short period of time shouldn't affect blood flow that damn much.
I don't know. Just ranting. I called work and told them I'd be a tiny bit late. They truly ruined me this time. Before it was just mental and I had to get through it. Now I'm actually physically sick, which doesn't happen that often and if I had the strength, I would be SOOOOOOO EFFING PISSED OFF.
But I don't like to talk b/c it hurts.
Other than that I'm doing okay.
Pray for meeeeee.
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Pick up a Crayon: Color Sexy.
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Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
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I just found out that a place in Dallas, TX called Papa's Pizza has a JACK n COKE Icee. I love slushies. I love Jack and Coke. This is awesome. I must go.
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Pick up a Crayon: 1 Sol - Color Sexy.
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Thursday, November 23rd, 2006
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Yes that's right.
I dropped my phone in a mug of coffee. It's dead. Gone forever. I will be getting a new one soon enough. But damn. That just sucks. I don't have the money for this shit.
Oh well. Tis life.
<3 you guys.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
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Pick up a Crayon: 3 Sols - Color Sexy.
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Thursday, October 26th, 2006
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This is my costume now.. I left the referee thing behind.
I love it. It came together well.
Carrie and I are gonna be hot hot hot.
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Pick up a Crayon: Color Sexy.
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So I had another quick nightmare last night. Woke up screaming or whatever, probably scared the shit out of Carrie. Sometimes they start off as regular, nice dreams and end up taking a twisted turn. And sometimes they're horrible from the start.
It always involves things supernatural. It's never an axe murderer or a rapist trying to hurt me. I never remember much from the dreams, only bits and pieces. The bit I remember from last night is.. that I was looking around a bed headboard thing or something like that - but it was in the middle of a living room where I could see the kitchen counters and I was waiting on someone. She had just popped her head around and she had something to tell me or she was going to stay, I don't know. But she was busy at that exact moment so she went somewhere else. Well I didn't need her to stay so that's when I turned and looked around the headboard thing and started shouting her name. She didn't ever respond. And then I saw a bottle (like a beer bottle type thing) glide slowly on its own across the counter and fall on the floor. Something was moving around the other side of the headboard thing and I couldn't see what it was. There was some other chick sleeping across the room but I couldn't get her attention because OF COURSE I couldn't scream or speak. (whenever this happens in dreams, I AM NEVER ABLE TO MAKE VOCAL NOISE) so I was trying to wake her up by grunting her name.. that humming noise.. but that didn't work and by that time I'm sure my blood pressure was so high from being frustrated, I think Carrie touched me (I must have been loud or something) to wake me up and it scared the hell out of me and I screamed and immediately woke up. Poor Gabby.. I scared that dog out of the room. But I couldn't move. I just lay there catching my breath. I don't remember the other parts of the dream, or any of the details.
I have these tiny nightmares about once a month. I'm not sure what state of mind instigates these dreams, but no consistent variable exists. They are random dreams on random nights. The only thing tying them together is that it's always something supernatural and that I can't scream or call for help. When I finally do figure out how to use my vocal chords, I jar myself awake with the sound.
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Pick up a Crayon: 1 Sol - Color Sexy.
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Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
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If the store has it in stock tomorrow, I'm going to be this referee chick for Halloween:
And Carrie and I were trying to think of something for Jake (kinda to coordinate with mine) and I decided that I want him to be an Auburn player. I even found him a jersey to wear:
And I can blow my whistle and do some sort of penalty against LSU and then afterwards Jake can hand me lots of money (fake of course) and he can throw it at me. And I can hang all over him and follow him around. Yeah.. could be a hoot. :D
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Pick up a Crayon: 1 Sol - Color Sexy.
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dinkdown's journal
sleepy.
cold.
creative.
hmm.
I want vegetables..